Reasons Why It's Not Easy to Just Leave

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Economic Dependency

Victims usually not allowed to work outside home
Majority of victims lack access to family income
Status and the material possessions usually play a part,
especially if children are
involved.

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Lack of Resources

As a result of isolation, victims lose many survival skills
Difficult to integrate into the work world without training
Unfamiliar with many systems and agencies, such as:
employment, legal, medical,
financial, and housing agencies.

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Survival

Victims may not have a safe place to go
May not be able to find safe shelter without putting others at risk

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Religion/Culture

Many religions/cultures say that divorce is not an option
Some teach that women must submit to men, even in violent situations

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Social Stigma

Victims may be too ashamed to tell anyone
Victims may see it as their responsibility to keep the family together
Dysfunction in the family is sometimes covertly viewed by others as the woman’s fault

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Children

Many victims believe that even an abusive parent is better than no father/mother at all
Difficulty and responsibility of single parenthood can be overwhelming and frightening
May not want to disrupt children’s schoolwork, lifestyle and friendships

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Fear of the Unknown

Almost always, the fear of that which is unknown is greater than that which is known and
familiar.

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Attachment and Investment

The batterer is not always abusive
Victim’s love for abusive partner is reinforced by his/her good behavior
Victim hopes that abuser will change
Victim has a history of good times with abuser
Victim does not want to walk away from a serious commitment without a lot of thought
and consideration

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Intimidation

Batterer may intimidate victim by threatening to kill victim, family, friends or him/herself
May threaten to take children away, tell everyone victim is crazy or stalk victim

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Lack of Self Esteem

The victim usually blames her/himself for the violence
This belief leads victim to be depressed
Victim has little self-worth, and feels she/he can do nothing right and therefore could
never make it on his/her own.